Fortune Cookies

I bought some fortune cookies this morning. An acrylic bag of 60 to 80 fortune cookies. I was happy to carry the fortunes of other people back from the 7-11 to my house. It made Santa Claus seem awfully pedestrian. He brings you gifts but this bag brings you fate.

It does not, of course. Fated fortune cookie fortunes cannot be extracted at a restaurant or via a takeout bag. They need to be found instead, on a sidewalk or in a hallway or a train station or bus depot. Someone else needs to open the cookie and reject the fortune. This proves that it is was received by the wrong person. The chance that it was intended for you increases. Delivery is no longer a predictable matter. You might not notice the fortune lying on the ground. In that case, it remains lying in wait, intended for someone else.

Or it could be that the landfill is the natural destination for a fortune cookie fortune. There are probably thousands of them in Fresh Kills (the Staten Island Landfill) alone. They lie there, scrunched between discarded objects, from diapers to newspaper, patiently informing car batteries and discarded tires that “You will be fortunate in the opportunities presented to you” It is all very surreal from the outside but comforting to the tires. I may be wrong. I don’t speak tire or any other inanimate object.

At any rate. IÂ’m going to give the fortune cookies to the rest of the office and collect the fortunes afterwards. IÂ’ll then tape the fortunes to benches and bridge underpasses around Singapore. IÂ’m not sure why. I just feel compelled to do this. I was compelled to do this from the minute that I decided to purchase the bag. It may,again, be fate. Just last week I got a fortune cookie fortune that told me IÂ’d be doing this. A meta fortune cookie, produced by the queen bee of fortune cookies, from a big hive in Plano, TX, where worker cookies extract fortunes from the queen cookie and implant them on small balls of warm dough.

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