« Hot Days | Main | Auto rickshaws give you that immediate, fatalistic feel for traffic »
April 30, 2007
Notes written on newspaper during 4hr flight from Delhi to Bangalore
1. This plane needs pillow lined video screens for people who want to rest their head on the back of forward seat
2. I want to set up a fortune telling screen that looks like one of those large announcement/ clacker boards at a railroad station
3. I've been thinking about geese that get sucked into jet engines. I'll bet that there is a goose legend about a plane engine that opens a doorway to a secret fantastical world with goose-elves and stuff like that or maybe about a goose that gets magical powers after getting sucked through the jet engine
4. I wonder if surgeons have a secret sword and the stone mythos, possibly centered around a difficult extraction procedure. Dentists, I am sure have a molar and a jaw myth. Even today there is a dentist somewhere waving about a pair of silver pliers, saving the west from imminent tooth decay
5. The Janitor at Mecca, sweeping up around the al-Haram, at the end of the day after everyone has left. What is that job like?
6. Is it now possible to exchange large amounts of money by swapping phone sim cards?
7. I'm glad that trees can't use their leaves as sharpened throwing stars because then nature hikes would suck
8. It would be better if doctors has someone drag their fingernails against a chalkboard when they administer a shot since you would be so horrified by the sound that you would not notice the shot.
9. There are other sounds that I can't stand: fingertips pulled across balloons, the sound of thread being pulled through particular fabrics and, occasionally, the sound of dental floss moving through my teeth.
10. In Singapore, floss refers to finely shredded meat-- normally pork-- I shudder to think of dental floss in Singapore. It might be made of finely shredded teeth.
11. I'll bet that astronomers totally fake each other out by re-orienting the high powered microscope toward the moon and then getting an unsuspecting astronomer to get moon blindness by looking through the eyepiece.
12. I've never been jealous of birds for their ability to fly but I am envious of their ability to sleep while standing up
13. I had a dream last night, about unicorns walking into a mall. As each one passed the sliding glass doors at the front of the mall, it took off it's horn and placed it in an umbrella stand
14. Why did GI Joe never have a special operator called Rikki Tikki Tavi?
15. Everyone should get a special message printed on a T-Shirt in a big font. Then they should wear that t-shirt every day because you never know when you will end up in the background of a live news cast
16. Whoever came up with the oversized Styrofoam finger, that person was a genius.
17. Someday I will own my own airplane and I will play the video of "grave of the Fireflies" during inflight because, if you think you seats are uncomfortable...
18. If I had a small country without a defense budget, I might be tempted to develop Styrofoam tanks to increase the perceived size of my army. How terrifying would it be to drive a Styrofoam tank? I'll bet that you would not be afraid of anything after that.
19. I've noticed that there are always a few people who stand up for long periods of time on flights. Airplanes should have a standing section for these people.
20. Mini golf on an airplane would be badass. Real golf, not so realistic.
21. Also, we need hand rails for people who are willing to lift themselves over sleeping passengers in order to get in and out of their seat
22. I liked Pirates of the Caribbean but it is clear to me that this Disney chose an easy ride for a movie plot. They should try extracting a plot from a more opaque ride, like the teacup ride.
Jibber Jabberin | By jb | 01:02 PM
Comments
The teacup ride...now that would make one tripped out film.
Posted by: heidi at April 30, 2007 06:27 PM