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January 10, 2006
Bathroom Wars
There is a trash can beside the flat panel television in the hotel room and the hotel has stopped putting plastic bags in each trash can in favor of a piece of paper, which is a great idea. I like it because it reduces the function of the trash bag to its simplest component and solves the core problem facing a trash can (the junk that you throw out will stick to the bottom) while getting rid of at least three extraneous problems (trash bags take up more space, how do you store the trash bags for each trash can, trash bags billow up and prevent people from putting as much trash as humanely possible in each can). The only time this won’t work is if someone decides to go deer hunting, captures and cleans a deer in the room and leaves the innards—which would stain the trash can—in the trash. I suspect that the trash can would get thrown out and the cost would be added to the already enormous surcharge incurred by the state of the bathroom
Speaking of the bathroom, the room uses an old school showerhead (1980’s massager showerhead, dingy off-white) which makes me think that there should be roller skates hidden around here somewhere.
In the tub, the hotel has placed a hand towel, soap and shampoo. The shampoo is made by a company called Physique and it features the greek letter sigma (Σ) at the top. This makes me think that the shampoo has either escaped from a fraternity or is the sum of all other shampoos. Shampoo qua shampoo. Shampoo researchers decided to take samples of all other shampoos and cram them into this tiny bottle. Right now the apple cranberry grapefruit extracts have formed a power block and are fighting a rearguard action against the German "Science-based" shampoos. The German shampoos are working on a new secret conditioner-based death ray but the herbal shampoo spies who know about this have been captured and are even now forging fake German shampoo passports in a camp behind the enemy lines. The battle is joined, cannons are firing away, tanks, troops, chain guns, mines, grenades and then-bang- the entire shampoo universe is tipped upside down, lathered and rinsed into the Fort Washington sewer system.
Circumspect Taste | By jb | 06:34 AM
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